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Post by Jo (chielohana) on Apr 10, 2008 19:12:27 GMT -4
I'm doing the spoil thing as this is a reference to the plot. Question for anyone who has seen the movie....I was about to add to my Netflix queue when I saw the plot summary. My brother committed suicide two and a half years ago and I'm not really sure I can handle this movie. On a scale of 1 to 10, how emotionally heart wrenching is it? Because I'd really like to see it but I don't want it to result in an emotional break down  Thank you! |
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Post by Edith S. Baker on Apr 10, 2008 20:31:35 GMT -4
I'm doing the spoil thing as this is a reference to the plot. Question for anyone who has seen the movie....I was about to add to my Netflix queue when I saw the plot summary. My brother committed suicide two and a half years ago and I'm not really sure I can handle this movie. On a scale of 1 to 10, how emotionally heart wrenching is it? Because I'd really like to see it but I don't want it to result in an emotional break down Thank you! No one can really say how much you will be able to take. Emotion is a precarious thing. Just warning you that Michael does a great job of tearing your heart out, but that would be true no matter what the plot was about. If you are leery of watching the emotional scene, we have 3 videos that showcase that scene. Watch them and see what you think: uk.youtube.com/watch?v=KJGYwC0RKcouk.youtube.com/watch?v=qptPeUsWHk0uk.youtube.com/watch?v=e2ArXqs0qrQAlso, the actual act is not shown, but implied. Basically the movie is about how each family member survives the suicide and the resources chosen for that survival. All in all it is a movie that provokes thought and dialogue. I am quite sure that I am not giving out the plot to anyone. By the way, I am so sorry about your loss. My son lost his best friend to suicide. He was an identical twin and my son was the identical friend. It was uncanny how those three looked alike. I knew them since they were 5 years old and was able to tell the twins apart, but sometimes my son and the twin who committed suicide were so identical that neither their mother or I could tell them apart. It is heart wrenching when they leave in such a brutal manner. |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2008 1:57:08 GMT -4
I tend agree with Edith. You know yourself how much your brother's situation still affects you and if you think this would just provoke something unpleasant I wouldn't watch it.
There is a part of this movie that doesn't have to do with suicide that resonates for me because of an incident that happened in my cousin's family. There are so many similarities it's uncanny. Of course the outcomes are different, (or are they?) but when I was watching this when that issue came into focus I was totally thinking, omigod, that's [my cousin]!! That's his P.O.V.!!!
What it did for me was helped to make me bridge my understanding of what happened with my cousin to the son's behavior. And yes I was totally in tears because it links to incidents in my life and events in the lives of others I care about. I think it does that with a lot of people.
So you can see how, as Edith said, it will provoke thought and discussion. If there is someone you can watch it with with whom you would feel safe to talk with if you needed to — and, of course you want to watch — you could try that.
I too am sorry to hear about your brother. I think suicide is one of those last subjects that is so taboo, and it's sad that it should be. I think that's one of the movies themes, actually. There are lots actually. The more I watch it the more facets I see.
Best wishes, chielohana
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Post by Jo (chielohana) on Apr 11, 2008 8:09:22 GMT -4
I appreciate the responses - thank you both very much for such thoughtful comments. I think I'll wait on watching it. xoxo
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Post by silvia1 on Apr 14, 2008 15:43:53 GMT -4
I bought the film through internet and I paid by paypal without problems. It's a tender and realistic story and Michael is awsome, in a character very,very different from that he plays in Lost.
I think that it's necessary to discuss this kind of problems. It's hard but the society must to face up the reality.
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Post by benlinusisagoodguy on Apr 14, 2008 15:51:15 GMT -4
what about my vid?  |
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Post by Edith S. Baker on Apr 14, 2008 18:22:03 GMT -4
what about my vid? I knew I missed one. Of all the people, yours.  Let me find the URL. |
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Post by Edith S. Baker on Apr 14, 2008 19:12:48 GMT -4
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Cole
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Post by Cole on May 21, 2008 13:19:42 GMT -4
I'm doing the spoil thing as this is a reference to the plot. Question for anyone who has seen the movie....I was about to add to my Netflix queue when I saw the plot summary. My brother committed suicide two and a half years ago and I'm not really sure I can handle this movie. On a scale of 1 to 10, how emotionally heart wrenching is it? Because I'd really like to see it but I don't want it to result in an emotional break down Thank you! I wanted to Thank you for posting this. I'm very sorry for your loss. I didn't realize Netflix finally has this movie available. I was looking for it a few weeks ago and didnt see it on there. Its impossible to find this movie anywhere to rent. I have a similar situation because my mother in law committed suicide 2 years ago and I don't think my husband would be able to watch this film. He also doesn't share my Emerson obsession, but hes a big LOST fan. I'll have to find a place to rent the movie and then watch when he isnt home one day. |
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Post by Jo (chielohana) on May 21, 2008 18:04:54 GMT -4
I'm doing the spoil thing as this is a reference to the plot. Question for anyone who has seen the movie....I was about to add to my Netflix queue when I saw the plot summary. My brother committed suicide two and a half years ago and I'm not really sure I can handle this movie. On a scale of 1 to 10, how emotionally heart wrenching is it? Because I'd really like to see it but I don't want it to result in an emotional break down Thank you! I wanted to Thank you for posting this. I'm very sorry for your loss. I didn't realize Netflix finally has this movie available. I was looking for it a few weeks ago and didnt see it on there. Its impossible to find this movie anywhere to rent. I have a similar situation because my mother in law committed suicide 2 years ago and I don't think my husband would be able to watch this film. He also doesn't share my Emerson obsession, but hes a big LOST fan. I'll have to find a place to rent the movie and then watch when he isnt home one day. Hmmm I didn't check if they actually have it - but at the very least they'll update you when they *do* have it. Or you could buy it if you really wanted and then ebay it. I'm sorry about your mother in law If you happen to watch the movie let me know your thoughts. I'm still holding off on watching it. |
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Cole
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Post by Cole on May 22, 2008 12:11:28 GMT -4
I wanted to Thank you for posting this. I'm very sorry for your loss. I didn't realize Netflix finally has this movie available. I was looking for it a few weeks ago and didnt see it on there. Its impossible to find this movie anywhere to rent. I have a similar situation because my mother in law committed suicide 2 years ago and I don't think my husband would be able to watch this film. He also doesn't share my Emerson obsession, but hes a big LOST fan. I'll have to find a place to rent the movie and then watch when he isnt home one day. Hmmm I didn't check if they actually have it - but at the very least they'll update you when they *do* have it. Or you could buy it if you really wanted and then ebay it. I'm sorry about your mother in law If you happen to watch the movie let me know your thoughts. I'm still holding off on watching it. Yea, now that you mention that I checked yesterday and didnt see it on there. Hopefully they get it. I checked Blockbuster and Hollywood video too but no luck. If I watch it I'll let you know my thoughts and whether or not I would let my hubby watch it. I know it may seem strange to not want him to watch it but its tough to watch someone watch something that is causing a lot of pain and painful memories. Regardless of how emotional the film is I'm sure he wont enjoy watching a whole movie on the topic. I'm sure Michael Emerson is brilliant in the film but like I said he doesnt really share my obsession. |
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Post by Edith S. Baker on May 22, 2008 12:33:26 GMT -4
Hmmm I didn't check if they actually have it - but at the very least they'll update you when they *do* have it. Or you could buy it if you really wanted and then ebay it. I'm sorry about your mother in law If you happen to watch the movie let me know your thoughts. I'm still holding off on watching it. Yea, now that you mention that I checked yesterday and didnt see it on there. Hopefully they get it. I checked Blockbuster and Hollywood video too but no luck. If I watch it I'll let you know my thoughts and whether or not I would let my hubby watch it. I know it may seem strange to not want him to watch it but its tough to watch someone watch something that is causing a lot of pain and painful memories. Regardless of how emotional the film is I'm sure he wont enjoy watching a whole movie on the topic. I'm sure Michael Emerson is brilliant in the film but like I said he doesnt really share my obsession. From what I understand, the movie was made to open dialogue among family members and friends whose loved one committed or tried to comit suicide. BTW, did you try your local library? Kat Candle said that many libraries did obtain the movie. |
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Post by Jo (chielohana) on May 22, 2008 22:02:35 GMT -4
Edith, that's a good point about starting a dialog. I don't talk much about what happened, I feel like it's a burden for others to have to listen to me talk about it. We do talk within my family though, and I must say we've actually all become closer since my brother's suicide. I actually quit therapy not long after he passed away. I really just didn't want to talk about it. I finally started therapy again about a week ago because I know I won't truly move on until I open up more. I've also thought about writing about it, because seriously, the entire situation was so bizarre - so insane - so outside anything I ever expected to happen to me. And I think the way my family coped with it (so far) has been really unique (for example, half of his ashes are buried in the center of a Native American medicine wheel out in the woods of Cape Cod...) I dunno, I'm rambling. Oh, and an aunt that thinks he speaks to her in her dreams and delivers messages from him to us....it's a weird family to say the least, but I love 'em. For anyone that's curious, in a nut shell what happened is as follows, and I'll put in a spoiler box in case you don't want to know My brother and his girlfriend both got pretty heavily into drugs (Oxycontin, which was very big on Cape Cod, and ultimately heroin as well) She was 19 and he was 24. Her parents sent her away to school in large part to split them up, since it was clearly an unhealthy relationship where they both wasted their lives rather than helping one another through their difficulties. My brother was trying to detox without any actual rehab, and so was she, and one night I suppose they decided that suicide was the answer. Personally I think they likely talked about it before and I believe he was the one that ultimately made the decision for himself, and she probably decided that it was a good time for her, too. She was away at school in NH and without telling a single person she drove back to the Cape and met my brother. They took his truck out to this scenic spot they loved and they rigged the exhaust to filter back into the truck, and sealed off all the possible ways for air to escape. We also believe that they took something to pass out so they didn't suffocate while awake, but we all decided not to read the results of the tox screens. Some AV riders found them in the truck several hours later. My phone was dead and my family couldn't reach me til I was at work the next day. I can't honestly describe the feeling of finding out your brother comitted suicide, other than to say that I was screaming without realizing it, and that I truly felt my heart break at that moment. Cheesy but true. My cousin ended up keeping the truck as a momento to feel close to my brother but also because he's dealing with recovery from drugs and wanted it as a reminder to stay clean. God, there's so much more to say and now I'm practically journaling. One of the weirdest moments was sitting next to the bag of his girlfriend's belongings from the truck that we set aside for her parents, and her cell phone kept ringing and ringing - friends that wanted to know where she was. I couldn't take it, and my other brother turned it off. His suicide letter didn't mention her, and basically said there was no reason for him to be alive and all he wanted to do was sleep, and advised that we all move on with our lives. Just like that. As if he never mattered. What an ass. |
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Post by Edith S. Baker on May 22, 2008 23:07:50 GMT -4
Edith, that's a good point about starting a dialog. I don't talk much about what happened, I feel like it's a burden for others to have to listen to me talk about it. We do talk within my family though, and I must say we've actually all become closer since my brother's suicide. I actually quit therapy not long after he passed away. I really just didn't want to talk about it. I finally started therapy again about a week ago because I know I won't truly move on until I open up more. I've also thought about writing about it, because seriously, the entire situation was so bizarre - so insane - so outside anything I ever expected to happen to me. And I think the way my family coped with it (so far) has been really unique (for example, half of his ashes are buried in the center of a Native American medicine wheel out in the woods of Cape Cod...) I dunno, I'm rambling. Oh, and an aunt that thinks he speaks to her in her dreams and delivers messages from him to us....it's a weird family to say the least, but I love 'em. For anyone that's curious, in a nut shell what happened is as follows, and I'll put in a spoiler box in case you don't want to know My brother and his girlfriend both got pretty heavily into drugs (Oxycontin, which was very big on Cape Cod, and ultimately heroin as well) She was 19 and he was 24. Her parents sent her away to school in large part to split them up, since it was clearly an unhealthy relationship where they both wasted their lives rather than helping one another through their difficulties. My brother was trying to detox without any actual rehab, and so was she, and one night I suppose they decided that suicide was the answer. Personally I think they likely talked about it before and I believe he was the one that ultimately made the decision for himself, and she probably decided that it was a good time for her, too. She was away at school in NH and without telling a single person she drove back to the Cape and met my brother. They took his truck out to this scenic spot they loved and they rigged the exhaust to filter back into the truck, and sealed off all the possible ways for air to escape. We also believe that they took something to pass out so they didn't suffocate while awake, but we all decided not to read the results of the tox screens. Some AV riders found them in the truck several hours later. My phone was dead and my family couldn't reach me til I was at work the next day. I can't honestly describe the feeling of finding out your brother comitted suicide, other than to say that I was screaming without realizing it, and that I truly felt my heart break at that moment. Cheesy but true. My cousin ended up keeping the truck as a momento to feel close to my brother but also because he's dealing with recovery from drugs and wanted it as a reminder to stay clean. God, there's so much more to say and now I'm practically journaling. One of the weirdest moments was sitting next to the bag of his girlfriend's belongings from the truck that we set aside for her parents, and her cell phone kept ringing and ringing - friends that wanted to know where she was. I couldn't take it, and my other brother turned it off. His suicide letter didn't mention her, and basically said there was no reason for him to be alive and all he wanted to do was sleep, and advised that we all move on with our lives. Just like that. As if he never mattered. What an ass. This is an amazing story. You must continue to talk about it with anyone who is willing to listen. Your good friends are there to listen. Just letting you know that (only click here if you want to know how the suicide is committed in JOB) The character in Jumping Off Bridges commits suicide the same way as your brother did. |
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Post by Jo (chielohana) on May 23, 2008 6:07:08 GMT -4
Thanks, Edith! And thank you for telling me, because that definitely colors my decision whether or not to see it. *hug*
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