Post by Edith S. Baker on Dec 29, 2006 13:33:19 GMT -4
After a scene is completed, we go to our journals and post our notes. Here are Ben's thoughts after his ordeal with Shannon:
It seems like an eternity, but it was a few days ago. I can't believe that I let myself stoop so low. I, who pride myself in being good, was bad.
All I wanted to do that day was to go and find Jack. Talk to him, and strike a deal with him: My life for his freedom. He would do the surgery, save my life, and I would provide the means for him to leave the island. But Rousseau had to intervene. She and her hunting nets. Honestly.
I got caught on one of those nets, and my luck who would happen to see me hanging up on the trees? Sayid and Shannon.
Sayid was not hard to convince that I was a good guy. He didn't trust me at first, but he was willing to listen. It's that spoiled princess that I had lots of trouble with. Shannon never trusted me, not for a moment. She pretty much kept Sayid's defenses up. He had me handcuffed, in shackles, kept as a prisoner in the hatch.
Oh, I got to meet Jack, Locke, and the others, but since I was a prisoner, they did not trust me. Apparently, they fear our tribe. And, worst of all, they feared me.
What dopes. Little did they know that I have been on their side. If it weren't for me, they would all be dead by now. But that's neither here or there. Suffice to say that I managed to unshackle myself.
My luck, the day I freed myself, that's they day Shannon was beginning to trust me. Of course, she brought Allison's story out of me. I minded then, I don't mind it now. I had to think about her. I had to think about the pain her death caused me. Alex never really filled that void.
Oh, don't get me wrong, Alex is my pride and joy. But she never replaced Al. After that occurrence with Shannon, I realized Alex is not meant to replace. She is meant to do what she's been doing all her life: She is meant to give me joy.
Anyway, back to my Shannon story. All was going well. Shannon was moved by my story. Of course, she thought it was Henry Gale's story. But what does that matter, it is still my story. It doesn't matter that my name was not Ben. The story was the same. I really got her emotions. And then she had to go and see that I had freed myself. She started screaming, ranting, and raving. I had to do something that I would never do: Hit a woman.
She fought me that bitch. She kicked me in painful places. I had to defend myself. I would never hit a woman. I had to do it. She was going to kill me. So I knocked her unconscious, tied her up (unfortunately, I think I broke one of her bones—probably her arm—in the process), and ran away.
To this day, I am ashamed that I harmed her. I don’t harm people, let alone women. She gave me no choice. She forced it out me. After all, in my heart of hearts, I know that I am a good guy.
It seems like an eternity, but it was a few days ago. I can't believe that I let myself stoop so low. I, who pride myself in being good, was bad.
All I wanted to do that day was to go and find Jack. Talk to him, and strike a deal with him: My life for his freedom. He would do the surgery, save my life, and I would provide the means for him to leave the island. But Rousseau had to intervene. She and her hunting nets. Honestly.
I got caught on one of those nets, and my luck who would happen to see me hanging up on the trees? Sayid and Shannon.
Sayid was not hard to convince that I was a good guy. He didn't trust me at first, but he was willing to listen. It's that spoiled princess that I had lots of trouble with. Shannon never trusted me, not for a moment. She pretty much kept Sayid's defenses up. He had me handcuffed, in shackles, kept as a prisoner in the hatch.
Oh, I got to meet Jack, Locke, and the others, but since I was a prisoner, they did not trust me. Apparently, they fear our tribe. And, worst of all, they feared me.
What dopes. Little did they know that I have been on their side. If it weren't for me, they would all be dead by now. But that's neither here or there. Suffice to say that I managed to unshackle myself.
My luck, the day I freed myself, that's they day Shannon was beginning to trust me. Of course, she brought Allison's story out of me. I minded then, I don't mind it now. I had to think about her. I had to think about the pain her death caused me. Alex never really filled that void.
Oh, don't get me wrong, Alex is my pride and joy. But she never replaced Al. After that occurrence with Shannon, I realized Alex is not meant to replace. She is meant to do what she's been doing all her life: She is meant to give me joy.
Anyway, back to my Shannon story. All was going well. Shannon was moved by my story. Of course, she thought it was Henry Gale's story. But what does that matter, it is still my story. It doesn't matter that my name was not Ben. The story was the same. I really got her emotions. And then she had to go and see that I had freed myself. She started screaming, ranting, and raving. I had to do something that I would never do: Hit a woman.
She fought me that bitch. She kicked me in painful places. I had to defend myself. I would never hit a woman. I had to do it. She was going to kill me. So I knocked her unconscious, tied her up (unfortunately, I think I broke one of her bones—probably her arm—in the process), and ran away.
To this day, I am ashamed that I harmed her. I don’t harm people, let alone women. She gave me no choice. She forced it out me. After all, in my heart of hearts, I know that I am a good guy.
