Obsessive drives & persistent visions of Mike

you know, fangirl fantasies and obsessions (and fanboy's, too) are what's driving the celebrity machine. We like these people because they are always good, all the time, never have an off day, would never reject us or disappoint us. To a certain extent I think we need it cuz life can get so ordinary sometimes. As long as we know that it's just a fantasy and don't blur the lines of fantasy and reality, and as long as we can find some rewards in our "ordinary" lives as well, where's the harm in a TV or movie boyfriend, girlfriend, eh?

Well, you know the great thing about unrequited love (speaking as a verteran, here): is that it never has to change, never has to disappoint, never has to die... Giant meat puppets on standby, folks. Or maybe I could make them out of chocolate. Then I could actually consume my obsession, as well as be consumed by it...

I think infatuation is just a natural part of being a woman!! I suffered it with Ben, and lately Foxy. But the intensity of my obsessions always seem to fade over time. I'm sure your will as well! Tell your husband to hang in there!!

That really IS a problem, Folds!! Can we figure out a way to clone him?

Obsession, real obsession, is less about the object of the obsession and more about the person doing the obsessing. We saw that in Michael's recent episode about Ben's obsession with Juliet (were the writers trying to tell us something you think? ) LOL. Obsession is a symptom of a problem rather than a problem in itself.

But I think we are confusing a preoccupation with obsession. None of us here are bunny boilers . We just have a major adult crush. Do you think a greater problem is driving your preoccupation with Michael? Maybe you spend too much time on Michael and Lost because you are bored with your life.

Ten years ago I had a similar thing with another actor in another fandom. He made me feel like I was 14 again. I even went to conventions to meet him. The weekend at my first convention (out of state alone) I ended up in the ER and found out I had a very rare (and what was then considered fatal) disease. It was like a ton of bricks fell on me. When I finally made it home from the hospital all I could talk about was meeting this guy. Friends came by to see how I was "taking the news" and all I would do was babble on about the convention and meeting this actor. When I started losing bits of my life (giving up the University class that I taught, giving up my dancing) that actor and character kept me from getting depressed and giving up on my situation. When reality got scary (needles, surgical procedures, & the ICU) I retreated to my fantasy world and it helped me cope. Now my crush has run it's course and while I still think the actor is a great guy and terribly handsome, I just wouldn't fall apart if we met. Actually I never thought to have the same sort of crush again. But then along came Michael.

BTW a nice drug company developed a drug to treat the disease and after 10 years it appears to be controlled so the Grim Reaper won't be getting me for a while. Wonder if ME would do a benefit to support research? But when I start to hurt and life gets hard again I can retreat to my Ben fantasies. My point is that crushes can help you in certain situations. They can make difficult situations easier to tolerate. IMHO a healthy imagination is important to a happy productive life. But when that imagination gets out of control maybe it's because you don't like something in your life.

Maybe you need to reframe this. You don't really love Michael. Or Ben. You love the thought of them. You love what you think they are. You can't really love someone unless you have met them and have a good understanding of who they are. Let's face it but stars like Michael can be perfect in our mind. We never see them do guy things like fart, belch or leave dirty socks on top of our makeup. They never get cross or say unkind things when tired. We don't see the tops of their heads where their balding is most evident, the bulging tummies under their shirts or any of their other inadequacies. We only see them at their clothed best. I'm sure Carrie would laugh at some of the ideas we have about her husband (coughlengthcough coughstaminacough).

Combine your two loves. Spend time with your hubby while fantasizing about Michael/Ben. Our sex life is much better now that Michael is part of it. Hubby knows I get crushes. He says as long as I eat at home I'm welcome to get my appetite anywhere I like. That it's not a sin to read the menu. Early on he discovered he was in for a great night after I watched my favorite TV show so he actually looked forward to each episode almost as much as I did.

I'm not so much for the overcoming. I'm more for the enjoying. Enjoy your crush. Put it in its proper place and then don't feel guilty about getting pleasure from it. But you know what gets me away from the computer? I think about the fact that if I ever met ME I would want to impress him with my accomplishments (since I couldn't seduce him). Since I couldn't have anything else I would want his admiration. Can't do that when you are playing on the computer all day.

Wow, Maeve, you are very wise!!! Well said, all of it!!

All of this definitely applies to me and my "adult" crushes. Especially the escapism of it...I recently got a tattoo and the pain was unbearable, and daydreaming of Foxy with all of my concentration is what got me through that. I know it's not nearly the same as your experience but it was a tiny taste of it.

Your husband is an absolute trooper - I think I'll have to train my boyfriend to appreciate Lost nights more, too!! ;D